Misunderstandings between husbands and wives are not unusual. Sometimes, arguments are really present when there are things not mutually agreed upon. Miscommunication and unwanted responses are other culprits. When there are some tests and trials in the married life, couples do quarrel and fight out of emotions due to the situations met. The existence of disagreements is not surprising, yet if they are too frequent, it becomes very unhealthy.
Not only the couple is affected by the countless fights but most of all, the children. Bigger kids could better understand the situations that lead their parents to quarrel since they are older and more mature. For younger kids however, mostly those below the teenage years, these frequent fights could be extremely bothersome, confusing and unfavorable. That is why parents must be mindful.
If you are a parent who is aware that this kind of situation is present in your family, you should be more cautious of the many disputes that you are having with your husband or wife. Without a doubt, when your children often witness those circumstances, they are negatively affected. Know how by checking out this list of 7 awful effects of parents’ frequent fights to young children!
[1] FORMING A NEGATIVE NOTION OF LOVE
Parents are children’s first representation of love. Aside from the parental love that they feel and see from their mom and dad directed to them, they see the romantic love expressed by their parents towards each other.
When kids usually witness all the fights of parents, they would form a negative notion of love. “Is this how love looks like?” They might be afraid to trust and to love other people as kids, and possibly even worse, as grown-up adults. Relationship problems might occur due to the mistrust towards what love is as they saw during their years as little children.
Social problems on how they treat others and how particularly they want to be treated could arise. Hatred on what is called ‘love’ to them could develop, and they could bring it until they grow older.
[2] FEELING SAD ABOUT THE FAMILY
It’s surely tiring to see and hear parents fighting again and again. Sadness can fill your children. They might get really lonely about what’s constantly happening within your house.
Especially if it is something they do not often see before when they were younger, they will feel really unhappy about the changes they are not used to and they never wished to happen. If these frequent fights last long, it’s going to be a feeling of despair while wanting to bring back the blissful days at home.
Bad vibes are spread not just in the room where parents quarrel but throughout the whole house and home.
[3] HURT BY HARSH WORDS TOO
When you are fighting with your spouse, harsh words might come out from your mouth due to annoyance, anger and other miserable feelings.
For children who love the both of you, they do not want anyone to be hurt. Kids’ love is pure and sincere. When their dad is hurt, they feel hurt. When their mom is hurt, they feel hurt. Even though not directed to them, hearing harsh words from one of their parents to their other parent is unpleasant and painful also.
[4] PICKING UP INAPPROPRIATE WORDS
When both parties are heated, you get into a war of words. Terribly, when your lovely kids hear you say those, they might pick them up. Because of hearing them too often, they get influenced by them. What a bad influence from parents! Sometimes, even if they do not intentionally get those words, they just develop them on their own since their house is filled with those terms!
What’s even worse is when the children soon use those bad words towards you (their parents) and their siblings when they are mad or crying. That’s so horrible! Worst is when they carry those untoward phrases outside of the home! People will hear, and they will reflect how your home has been.
[5] CREATING GAPS BETWEEN PARENTS
Sharing a space with pain, fear could also be in your children’s hearts when they usually notice how parents are at odds! They might create gaps because they have become afraid of how they saw you when you were too furious. They might create gaps because they hate how you hurt your husband or wife (or how you were hurt). Especially if the hurt was physical, expect kids to distant themselves from the parents who inflicted pain towards the other.
[6] FEELING INSECURE
Though kids are young, you cannot say that they don’t feel insecure too. Their sense of security about the family’s stability might be challenged. They might get worried and anxious of the thought or possibility of parents’ divorce due to loads of fighting. They could have separation anxieties because of the results of parents’ burdensome quarrels such as walking out, silent treatments and one parent leaving the house temporarily.
[7] GETTING STRESSED
When parents, who are the pillars of the family, keep fighting in front of the kids or when the kids are around, the house becomes a stressful place! Hearing daily bickering, though kids might unfortunately become used to it, is irksome.
You can’t be sure if a stressful home is still “home” to your kids. It will affect their mental health big time.
KIDS KNOW
Parents are children’s role models. If you are a parent, you should know that well. How you and your spouse treat each other affect your kids so much. How you handle arguments are very important not only to maintain a peaceful married life but most especially a pleasant home!
If there are any problems to be discussed, make sure you talk with each other in private and fix things in private. There really are sudden squabbles, probably on the dining table or in the car, but see to it that they are not so frequent that your children would be worried and their health will be affected damagingly.
Explaining the reasons for some fights your kids witnessed would also help you enlighten them. That is to avoid any misconceptions in their heads that would affect their hearts and their lives as they grow up.
If in any unique case, you need a lawyer to fix family issues that lead to frequent fights or a family counsellor for guidance, call them as needed. In Australia, you can look for law firms near your area; respected Penrith lawyers, Melbourne lawyers and Bankstown lawyers are among many choices for your family help needs. The faster and more efficiently huge family problems are solved, the better.
Strive to make your home healthy and happy in all ways, always. Bear in mind that what happens in your relationship as husband and wife affects your offsprings, so be careful, and nurture your family life beautifully.
AUTHOR BIO
Nicole Ann Pore is a writer, an events host and a voice over artist. Travel, health, shopping, lifestyle and business are among the many subjects she writes about. She is a daytime writer for Adams Lawyers, a team of professionals that offer well-rounded service for all legal needs. Nicole graduated Cum Laude from De La Salle University Manila, Philippines with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Arts.
